The Future is Now is the Past

What if you pressed fast forward on your dvd, and you saw it squizzle by at high speed for a while, and you pressed play again, and you saw the exact same things happening on screen as were happening before you even pressed fast forward?

WELCOME BACK TO THIS BLOG.

First off, I don't even remember creating this blogger account, but I came here to make one and saw that it instantly logged into my old one. Hmmm, that's strange. What did I post?

OH! JUST THE SAME THING I COULD POST RIGHT NOW, EXCEPT IM LIKE THIRTY POUNDS HEAVIER.

Okay, so let's start over.

I'm going to start detailing what I eat (accountability), make up characters to match the food I ate, and post as that person (comedy? tragedy?), and photograph the food (art! just kidding. just self torture). Maybe having it seem more fun/silly will keep me interested, and on the off chance any of this works or makes me sick, I will have dutifully logged my food intake, so I can recount it tearfully to doctors or bark it braggadociously to all of the interwebs and market some lame SECRET WEIGHT LOSS TIPS THEY DIDNT WANT US TO KNOW ABOUT money making ponzi scheme so that I can become independently wealthy.

What is life.

I wish I could just be happy with having gotten so fat. But alas, I also have a lot of digestive problems, so fuck that.

Here we go. Gonna try to start in the morning.

Comments

Off the Veggie Cart and Into the Mud (Pie)

Ooooookay. So for two days, I've been immaculate. Low calories. Lots of freshly juiced veggies and fruit. No soda. A veritable river of fresh water imbibed. And then tonight after picking Son up from his show, we drove through Jack in the Box. And I ordered ten of everything they ever thought about making, and also two Monster tacos, and what's that? Now you have Reese's peanut butter dream pie? Sure, no prob, I'll just wash that down with ALL OF THE COKE YOU HAVE IN THAT MACHINE. I shit you not. (fighting... urge... to make... joke about shit... after eating all that... k. I'm good.) So yeah. I'm super disappointed and frustrated. What the hell is wrong with me? I didn't even feel deprived while I was doing the "right" things, so it isn't that, I don't think. Stress, maybe, about the flight I have to catch in five hours. Travel is stressful, and this time in particular is worse, since I'll have to see my mother. ...

I Deserve a Cookie. Wait.

A haiku: Two days gluten free. I dream of breakfast pastries; Do donuts miss me? Honestly, it hasn't been that bad. I have actually made it through 48 hours without gluten, and if you think that sounds simple, that just tells me (1) you're allowed to have it and (2) you've never tried cutting it as a lifestyle. We started out bad (well, "bad") as the weekend came to an end, deciding to go ahead and have a "cheat" day on Sunday. Shasta D Zasta and I both had the day off from work, allowing us to go to the grocery store for veggies to prep food again. "Cheating" in this case meant spending money to eat outside of our home, rather than eating unhealthy food, though the two aren't necessarily mutually exclusive concepts. I had not yet had even one full day of cutting gluten, and the boys were going on about Steak N Shake or Firehouse Subs, and I knew they were going to eat there. There was no way I was going to sit and watch ...

Slam Death's Door

Downhill. Everything has gotten worse since last I posted, I'm sorry to report. I've been really sick, missing a lot of work, which hits hard financially, and also had a sexual assault by a friend who was staying with us temporarily since he moved out here from Texas. I've been handling that okay, I think, but the stress of it and all the emotions gave me an ulcer and can't be helping the other things. I'm coming up on the anniversary of the worst times in my life, the hospital last year, my cousin's suicide, etc, on top of the yearly Seasonal Affective Depression. Holy shit. I feel maxed out in every way and out of reserves. I can't say I have ever felt this low and run down. It's like I'm playing a really hard video game and all my health/power bars are down to almost nothing. Really. To Nothing. So I have decided to concentrate as hard as I can and play this game to win, without distraction. I am taking time off w...

Superbunny Wins Again!

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